guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
