With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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