You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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