I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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