but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
What a dumb baby whore.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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