Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
