MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
