Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize