Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
