Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
