I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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