eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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