the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
