do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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