i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
