I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
