We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize