im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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