We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Barsexuality is the new black.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
