i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
