I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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