I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
