C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
