Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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