just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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