Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
