Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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