well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
