Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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