And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
honey bunches of taint.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize