look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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