That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
