There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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