sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize