i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Randomize
