I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I had to cum in my sink.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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