There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
