Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize