we have pet lesbian snakes
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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