If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think your dad took our porno
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
