uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize