a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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