I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
