Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
