Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
