i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
