I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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