LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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