Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
