I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
