woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
