remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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