If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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