You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
