youre lurking in front of me
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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