His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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