dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
no. you can't hotbox the world.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Randomize