We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
