Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
