just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
