my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
we should paint friendship bongs
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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