Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
